Baked Tater Tots

Okay. So first it was ketchup. And now I have this slammin’, simple, delicious, eat it from the spoon ketchup, it really needs something equal … fingers in ears, folks, Ernie is about to start shrieking again … I know! I’ll make TATER TOTS! The Tot is truly one of the world’s most perfect foods.

I have been told that perhaps I have gone round the proverbial bend  … too much time on my hands … the best I can tell you is that I was, perhaps, dropped on my head as a child.

But Tater Tots! Come on! Why wouldn’t you make them from scratch if you possibly could!? And they’re baked! And, much to the chagrin of he-who-won’t-be-mentioned the shaping of the Tot is not a tightly-held industrial secret.

These were fabulously simple and yummy beyond belief.  You may never buy a frozen Tater Tot again. This is a mishmash of a bunch of different recipe I found. One said to roll them in panko crumbs. I may try that next time, but don’t think it’s necessary. Would like a more even brown on them. But, hey, this was the first time out of the gate and they were inhaled in seconds!

• 4 russet potatoes, peeled
• 1 1/2 tablespoons salt, plus more for seasoning
• 1 teaspoon cracked black pepper, plus more for seasoning
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• Ketchup, for serving

NOTE: Adjust the cayenne, smoked paprika and garlic powder to taste. 

Preheat oven to 425 degrees, with oven rack in center position. Place a rimmed baking sheet in oven.

Peel and grate potatoes and transfer to a large bowl.

NOTE: I started off using a box grater. UGH! Suddenly my Cuisinart started beckoning to me and the shredding disk started waving at me. Hello? Remember us? Well, that turned this into something even easier!

Cover the grated potatoes with boiling water, by about 2 inches. Steep for 10 minutes. Drain potatoes in a colander and rinse thoroughly with cold water. Squeeze potatoes with hands to remove excess moisture and transfer back to large bowl.

NOTE: I put the potatoes in a clean, white kitchen towel and squeezed them. The drier they are the better off you are.

Add flour, salt, pepper, spices and beaten egg to bowl and fold into potatoes.

Shape into Tots.

Carefully remove hot baking sheet from oven and coat with 2 tablespoons olive oil. Quickly transfer Tots to baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, and bake for 30 minutes, flipping once, until golden brown and crispy. Sprinkle with salt. Serve with ketchup.

NOTE: Next time I think I’ll add some grated onion. Maybe a little bit of fresh garlic instead of powder.

Ketchup

Yes, Ernie. Yes, I know Ernie. Yes, I understand there are companies that have been making ketchup and putting it glass containers and placing those glass containers on supermarket shelves for over 100 years. And, yes, dear, I am well aware that there is an aisle filled with almost nothing other than ketchup at my local supermarket. But aren’t either of you even just the tiniest bit curious to experiment and learn how to do it, or what it would taste like out of your own kitchen?

Can you all hear Ernie SHRIEKING …. NO, NO, NO!

I can’t either. It helps that I stick my fingers in my ears whilst singing “la,la,la,la, I can’t hear you”

I had to do this. Just had to. Quite frankly, it has been sitting on my to-do list for quite some time.  I would look, and sigh, and turn the page. But things have been pretty quiet in my end of the world and something was needed to occupy my time to not miss people so much.

KETCHUP to the rescue!

• 1  28-oz. can tomato puree
• 1 medium yellow onion, peeled and quartered
• 1 clove garlic, crushed and peeled
• 1/2 fresh jalapeño, stemmed and seeded
• 2 T dark brown sugar
• 1/2 C cider vinegar
• 1 C water
• Pinch cayenne
• Pinch celery salt
• Pinch dry mustard
• Pinch ground allspice
• Pinch ground cloves
• Pinch ground ginger
• Pinch ground cinnamon
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

NOTE: It’s all those spices that make the difference. It seems a little spicy as it’s bubbling away, but once it cools and sets up and then chills, it’s very mild.

Yields about 4 cups of ketchup (that’s about 3 1/2 pint jars)

Put tomato purée, onion, garlic, jalapeño, and brown sugar into a blender or food processor and pulse until just blended. Add in the vinegar and water and purée until smooth.

Transfer the mixture to a medium saucepan; add cayenne, celery salt, mustard, allspice, cloves, ginger, and cinnamon. Simmer over low heat, stirring occasionally, for 45 minutes to an hour, testing the consistency after an hour. ** 

Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Store in refrigerator, covered, for up to 1 month.

** To test the consistency of  how thick the ketchup will be when it’s cold, place a small plate in the freezer for about 15 minutes. When you think the ketchup is done, put about a teaspoon of the ketchup on the cold plate. Stick the plate back in the freezer until the ketchup is cold, about 5 minutes. Then taste it, see if you’re happy with the taste and the consistency. The consistency of the ketchup on your plate will be about how thick the ketchup will be once it’s chilled.

If you like the flavor and consistency, take the pot off the heat, let chill and jar. If you want it a bit thicker, simmer for another 5-10 minutes, and do the cold plate test again.

Homemade Magic Shell

When I was a kid, I loved to take these apart and try to see how they went together. Most of the time I could take them apart, see how they worked and then put them back together – usually, with success, but not always!

I have the same curiosity when it comes to food.  I have made Sweet Chili Sauce, have ketchup scheduled to make and mustard.

And then one day, poking around the internet I saw recipes for Magic Shell popping up everywhere! Oh, I had to try this. I LOVE Magic Shell. And being able to make my own, if it works,  would be so FREAKIN’ COOL!

This definitely falls under the category of Ernie SHOUTING ‘ WHY? WHY? WHY?’.

Why? I’ll tell you why … It’s liquid, it hits something cold and hardens? WHY? HOW?

When I had to take physics in college – what a nightmare – and a term paper had to be written – double nightmare – mine was done on kitchen physics. My professor thought I was nuts, until he started reading. It was fascinating and remarkable. Who knew physics could be so much fun and so relatable!? It answered so many ‘why’ questions.

But do not despair, Ernie, this was simple and quick and not messy.

• 1 1/4 C chocolate chips
• 1/2 C coconut oil (when solid)

NOTE: I bought the coconut oil at Trader Joe’s. I know they sell it in the local health food store. I know Amazon sells it as well.  Also, when I made it, it was quite warm in New York. I put the coconut oil in the refrigerator until it became solid., then scooped it out and continued on.

Place the chocolate chips and coconut oil in a glass bowl and microwave for 30 seconds.  Remove from microwave and stir.  Continue to microwave in 15 second bursts, stirring in between, until the chocolate is almost all melted.  Stir until the chips are all melted and the lumps are gone.

Pour into a glass jar and store on the counter.

NOTE: The mixture will stay liquid at room temperature in warmer months, if it lasts that long! If it’s cooler it may solidify a bit, simply microwave briefly before serving.

NOTE:  All I can say is WOW! Super cool! The flavor is spot on ~ AND IT WORKED! My curious side sated for the tiniest bit of time. I poured it over Ben & Jerry’s Bonnaroo’s Coffee Caramel Buzz ice cream – Coffee and Malt ice cream, whiskey caramel swirl and chocolate covered English toffee. All I can say is I have loved ones begging me to make it for them. In good time, sweetie, all in good time.